Friday, June 17, 2016

To the blonde woman who insulted my autistic daughter at Santa's village (by the big slide) on Sunday, June 12th. I hope you read this!

You called my 7 year old, non verbal, autistic daughter a "brat".  If my daughter was neurotypical like your perfect child, I would still be outraged that you called another child a "brat".  How dare you!  When your children become bullies don't you DARE look to blame anyone but yourself.  My daughter is SEVEN, and she is far from a "brat".
Yes, I confronted you because I care about how people treat her.  Do you have any idea what we go through?  Therapies, special schools, a device that gives her a voice, meltdowns because she has difficulty in noisy and crowded situations and can't voice her fears and frustrations.
I wouldn't normally dwell on this, but you tried to talk your way out of it when I politely explained my daughter to you.  You made excuses, you stuttered and then placed the blame on everyone BUT yourself.  My husband and I both heard you, and we were both VERY aware of what our daughter was doing.  She was at the top of a very tall slide and she slid past your son who was poised perfectly at the top waiting for you to snap a picture.
It's difficult for us to go to public places for many reasons.  You have no clue how hard we work to get her to "blend" in society and act appropriately so that she doesn't have to endure people like you.  She has every right to enjoy the same things other kids do.   We have spent the last 4 years trying to teach her to "wait" and "be patient".  She just happened to have a "moment" which I am sure your child NEVER has  (insert sarcasm)  where she was impatient,  pushed past him and went down the slide.  I'm sure you also noticed that me and my husband ran over right away and corrected her.  We were 100% aware of the situation and stepped in accordingly.   I'm pretty sure at this point that you could probably tell something was not right with my daughter based on her actions, but yet you still continued to yap about her pushing past your son.  Has your son never not waited his turn, got impatient, or just had a bad moment?  If are one lucky Mom and one of a kind.
My husband had some words with you, and you were very condescending and rude.  He's a better person than I am because he walked away.  That's something I wish I could do.  I don't have that in me and you pissed off Mama Bear.  My daughter doesn't have a voice so WE are her voice.  I will fight for my daughter until my last breath.....doesn't every parent?
I intended to "school" you on autism and I said to you, "My daughter is not a brat, she has autism and doesn't understand what she just did and I am sorry for that."  You got defensive, talked over me and then tried to blame others.  Not only that, but my cousin heard you STILL talking about my daughter several hours later while in line to get some food.
Moral of the story:  You have no idea what we go through on a daily basis, how hard it is for us to give our daughter the same experiences that you give your child(ren).  My daughter deserves the same things every other child does.  She may have acted "inappropriately" at that moment, but she is a very sweet and loving little girl who just happens to have autism.  I hope that maybe you might learn from this and be a bit more compassionate in the future.  You have no idea what others are going through.  Her disability might not be seen at first glance, but that's even more reason for you to stop, think, and put yourself in someone else's shoes..... just once, and stop being so quick to judge.
We are not perfect parents by any means, but we do everything in our power to protect our kids.

Monday, May 5, 2014

Back with a bang (ok.... Just tears and venting)

Wow, it's been a while. Near with me. I don't have a laptop right now so typing on my iPhone!  Fun stuff!
I haven't written in what, a year?  Year and a half?  Lets just say I am busy, busy, busy!  I'm also a liar. I don't have a job. One child is in school 4 days a week from 7:45-1:45 and the other goes two days for three hours!  I'm really just enjoying bliss while doing laundry, vacuuming, cleaning.... Taking an UNINTERRUPTED shower!
Anyway, I am back temporarily to say F$&@ YOU autism!
You have taken my little girl, and locked her in a world that NO ONE knows anything about!  Screw you!
I should mention that Macie is doing great and making huge strides in school and at home. She has amazing g teachers and family is awesome in supporting her.
I'm just angry that my sweet little girl can not verbalized her feelings. She's is funny, smart, caring, and beautiful inside and out. These traits radiate from her, but without words. I see her frustrations and I feel them every moment of every day!  She works so hard to try to communicate, and then frustration takes over and she shuts down.
My heart and soul are hurting for her. It's normal, I'm her Mommy!

Monday, July 1, 2013

Follow me over at bloglovin

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Google reader is going bye bye today!

I know I haven't posted in almost a year, but someday i might have time to blog again!!!!

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Happy 4th Birthday, Macie! (Warning-Picture heavy)

My "baby" is 4 today!  Seems another year has flown by as I blinked.

Happy Birthday to my everything- "The Face".

You have come so far this past year.  Too many things to list in fact!  Mommy and Daddy are so proud of how hard you work in school, in therapy, and at home.  You are such an amazing, sweet, smart, energetic, funny, beautiful little girl.  You have taught us so many valuable things in your four years with us.  You have made all of us stronger, more patient, more caring, and have taught us that it's so very important to celebrate the small things!

You amaze us every day, and I am so glad we were so fortunate to be chosen to be your Mommy and Daddy!


Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Therapy via blogging

Something awful happened last week that has changed my life (and Phil's) probably forever.  I'm told that I will need to talk about it often, and that I will probably need some counseling at some point.  I have decided to "talk" about it here first.  The reason for that is the fact that I feel this is something that is very difficult to discuss with those that have not experienced something of this nature.  It's hard to imagine telling people details, and not making those people uncomfortable.  Maybe if I write it here someone that has been through this may have some helpful words for me/us.

I will make the story short for now.  There is so much to tell, but the end result is the tragic part, and that's what I want to "get out".

Last Monday I had an overwhelming feeling that something was wrong with our neighbor.  I hadn't seen his car leave for two days, and his dog was going in and out the back door on her own (the door was propped open).  There were also some lights on in his house that I rarely ever saw on.

I contacted our other neighbors' to ask if they had seen/talked to him- they had not.  I sent a text to them saying "something is very wrong".  That neighbor has a key to his house so asked if Phil would come over and go in with him.  They rang the bell a few times, and no answer.  Our neighbor walked in first, Phil was next and then me and my neighbors girlfriend were behind them.  We got in the house and found that our neighbor had taken his own life.

He was a husband, father, son, uncle, friend to many.  I am sad, angry, and not sure I will ever get this out of my head.  If you know anyone that suffers from depression, is having a "tough time" in their life DO NOT be afraid to ask them if they are ok, or if they need help.  I don't know if anyone could have prevented this situation, but I certainly would have tried harder had I had any indication that this would happen.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Getting ready for Preschool-2nd year

Macie starts her 2nd year of preschool on Monday.  Phil took Macie to the Dr. yesterday to get her check-up.  Unfortunately I can't take her anymore because I am not strong enough to battle her while the Dr. tries to examine her.  Poor Phil- he looked exhausted when he got home.  Macie just cried the whole time and wanted NOTHING to do with being examined.  They got through it, and she's ready to start school.
They just did her 4 year well visit while she was there since it's coming up.
Her stats:

Weight- 40lbs. (90th percentile)

Height- 39 inches (50th percentile

Monday, August 20, 2012


We're still here, just busy with summer which seems to be flying by, and coming to an end!  Hopefully I will be able to get back to blogging.  I am so far behind with updates!

I did want to share a story for now.

We were invited to our neighbors' BBQ this past weekend, and we met a woman that gave us some hope for Macie.  I was playing with all the kids in their trampoline, and there was a little girl (10 years old) playing with all the younger kids (ranging from 2-5).  This 10 year old girl was such a "Mama Bear" with all the younger kids.  She was telling me all about her sisters', talking about school, etc.  She was so sweet with helping the kids get in and out of the trampoline.  Phil came up to me, and we were talking about how much fun Macie was having, and how well she was interacting with all the other kids.  Phil turns to me and says, "you know the girl in the purple shirt (the 10 year old) has autism?"  I didn't believe him, but he told me that he had been talking to her Mom about it for quite a while.  I would have NEVER guessed she had autism.

I ended up speaking with her Mom for quite a while, and am just amazed at how far they have come.  She told me that two of her three daughters' have autism.  Her ten year old was not diagnosed until 5 years old, and her 11 year old was not diagnosed until just a few weeks ago.  She had to fight Dr.'s, insurance companies, and schools for many years to get a proper diagnosis.  Her younger daughter that was at the BBQ was misdiagnosed from the beginning.  The Mom was told that her daughter would never walk, or talk!  Her Mom told me that she is on several medications that help her with her quirks, sensitivities, etc. that help her focus and learn.  She said without the medications, her daughter is a different kid.  I certainly commend this Mom for doing whatever she had to do to get her daughter where she is today.  It was amazing to see, and hear about.

She told Phil that she took her 10 year old to a Sox game recently.  At one point her daughter was overwhelmed with all the noise so she put her hands over her ears and was screaming.  There was a group of people sitting behind them that said to the Mom- "could you please take your Daughter out of here if she is going to scream!".  The little girl turned around and said "I'm sorry, I have autism and all the noise is really bothering me."  AWESOME!  Needless to say, the people apologized and didn't say another word!

Stories like these definitely give us some hope!

Friday, June 1, 2012

Macie finished her first year of Preschool

Macie completed her first year of preschool this past Wednesday.  She completed her first 8 months of school with perfect attendance too!  She will be going to summer school starting on June 13th, but it's only Monday through Thursday from 8am to 10:45am.  I have to admit, I am a bit nervous about her being home from school.  She really thrives on routine, and having a week and a half off then going back to school with a new teacher, and new hours......could be scary for all of us!

I am so grateful that she was able to attend preschool early, and that she had some really amazing teachers' this year.  We are not 100% sure she will have the same teachers' next year, and that definitely makes my anxiety peak.  I know it's not a bad thing for her to be with new teachers', but the group of teachers' she had really got to know her so well.  They know what makes her tick, and it took a long time for them to figure that out with her.

I am in the process of contacting some speech pathologists to get her some private speech therapy over the summer.  Hopefully that will help fill some of the gaps that she will have with not being in school.

Here is a list of SOME of the wonderful things Macie has done/learned this year in school:

Drawing pictures instead of just scribbling
Communicating with pictures
Sign language
Matching pictures
Turn taking
Motions to songs
Reading along to books
Stacking appropriately according to size
Following simple instructions
More vocalizations
More affectionate
Meltdowns are pretty nonexistent unless she's exhausted
Pointing to objects
Her eye contact is AWESOME
Waving "Hi", and "Bye"

All of these things she learned are so bittersweet for us.  They are things that come so easily for a "neuro typical" 3 year old, but we are so happy and proud of her.  Macie works very hard to learn all these things.  I hate seeing her struggle, but know that she's making progress and that makes us hopeful.

Thursday, May 24, 2012


It's been so long since I posted! Would love to make excuses, but I have none! I'm taking the lazy route and doing bullet points.

Added some pictures for your viewing pleasure ;-)

The girls' LOVE their new swing set!!!

WEEEEE- Think this was right before she fell on her face!

My beautiful, big brown-eyed girls'

Playing together- a rare thing.

Emma had an important phone call, but manages to keep playing.  

She looks so old in this picture- sniff sniff

 -Emma had her 2 year check up last week. She had an ear infection I knew nothing about, and she has a gigantic head (98th percentile). She's around 70th percentile in height and weight. The Dr. Was shocked at how much she talks and can carry on a full conversation with her.

 -Emma was doing really well with potty training, but that kinda came to a halt. She's in the control stage now and she will only go when she feels like it. We are not pushing it since she is only 2.

 -Emma sings her abc's, she counts to ten, sings happy birthday, the itsy Betsy spider, ring around the rosie, wheels on the bus, and just amazes me every day.

-Emma's development is so bitter sweet for us. We are so amazed with her, but sad for Macie because all the things she says and does are trapped inside Macie.

 - The closer Macie gets to being 4, the more I worry about her never speaking. We've come to terms with her most likely being "low functioning", but it still stings!

-Macie is doing well in school, she is progressing in so many areas. She still struggles with receptive language. She gets frustrated easily because she has so much to say, and just can't find the words.

-Macie has been so affectionate lately. She hugs her teachers, she gives me impromptu kisses all the time, she will give kisses to her grandmas', papas', aunts', uncles',etc. when we ask her too. Her eye contact is really great. She's drawing faces at school, cutting with scissors on her own, pretend playing with dolls!

 -I am nervous about her not being in school full-time this summer. She will be going to summer school, but it's half the time. We are also working on getting her private speech therapy over the summer so hopefully that will help her.

-she is signing more words- all done, listen, my name, more, etc. she is amazing at puzzles, and doing motions to many songs.

-I have to admit I had a little breakdown in the car this morning....I saw three moms walking with their kids to the park. I was so envious. I am unable to just take a stroll to the park, or go to the store because Macie wanders. It makes me very nervous that I won't be able to handle both girls' by myself. I would give my left arm to be able to set up a play date for my girls' but we can't do a lot of things unless they are in a fenced in yard! It sucks!!! I am thankful we have a fenced in yard, a swing set and a pool so the girls can play, but I tend to feel caged after some time.

 -Macie is getting better about listening when we tell her to stop, or come here, but I am still nervous. We still celebrate these victories....don't think we are only dwelling on the struggles. I think any mother of an autistic child feels lonely, left out, inadequate at times....we just can't let our children know we feel that way. I know that Macie's mood is very dependent on mine a lot of times.

 -That's all I have for now. The girls need to get up and enjoy this awesome weather!!! Sorry if this was difficult to read....did it on the iPad.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Ryan Gosling/Adventures in Extreme Parenting

I LOVE Ryan's no secret.  I stumbled upon another blog called Adventures In Extreme Parenting (   I love it.  She has two boys on the spectrum, and she's hilarious.  She does a post every week that involves a picture of Ryan Gosling, and she adds a caption and/or others add captions.....they are GREAT.  I highly recommend checking some of them out if you have a child with special needs....even if you don't!